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[征文作品] 【2013文心雕龙】【淫靡电梯】（33号）

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1楼 大 中 小 发表于 2013-10-10 13:16  显示全部帖子
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情节设定的非常好就是短了点，给读者有点突然的感觉，如果能在长点叙述那这个故事就完美了，就是这样也比很多H文要强
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  • xmfx12345 金币 +5 认真回复，奖励！国庆节奖励双倍 2013-10-10 15:02

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